Things that Mr. Heinz is no longer allowed to do...

edited August 2008 in Story Games
...while playing Story Games.

Inspired by the RPG.net thread about Mr. Welch.

1: I am no longer allowed to use "Hey, baby, wanna upgrade my mech?" as a pick-up line in Bliss Stage.

2: I am not allowed to play the following characters in Bliss Stage: Kamina, Simon the Digger, Yoko, Gai Daigoji, or any character from Gundam Wing.

3: My ANIMa's primary weapon is not the Shining Finger.

4: Especially if the Shining Finger is a manifestion of my hatred for the Authority Figure.

5: ...And is delivered with the middle finger.

6: Dogs in the Vineyard is not an appropriate system for running a Sailor Moon game.

7: Neither is Bliss Stage.

8: I am not to describe Dogs in the Vineyard as "The Mighty Mormon Power Rangers" to any potential recruits.

9: I am never again to have the Authority Figure in a Bliss Stage game scream, "RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!"

10: Just because he has less than 5 Intimacy with his Anchor does not mean that Keenan Caine got her pregnant by kissing her.

11: "Fribblefrabble" is not currently part of GNS jargon, and I am no longer allowed to imply that it is.

12: When the Mountian Folk woman tries to seduce me when I am pumping her for info, I am not allowed to fold and describe hot sex with her.

13: When the Mountian Folk woman tries to seduce me when I am pumping her for info, I am not allowed to raise with a description of hot sex with her.

14: On a related note, I am no longer permitted to get my Coat's dice during a conflict by removing my Coat.

15: Bliss Stage is not an appropriate system for running a Paranoia game.

16: Neither is Dogs in the Vineyard.

17: I am no longer allowed to have FATE aspects inspired by Kobolds Ate My Baby, including but not limited to Tastes Like Chicken, In Heat, and ALL HAIL KING TORG!!!

18: I am allowed to refer to a sexual relationship as being at "Intimacy 5." My Bliss Stage character is no longer allowed to refer to a sexual relationship as being at "Intimacy 5."

19: 4chan Memes cannot be in any way involved with all future games of Shock: Social Science Fiction that I participate in.

20: My Spirit of the Century character cannot be the Spirit of Cheese, nor of Big Pimpin'.

Add to the madness as needed.

Comments

  • See, as soon as I saw the title of the post, I pondered a Storygame where the mechanic is largely about/driven by statements of what the Title character is no longer allowed to do....
  • 21. I am no longer allowed to gesture in any way when I say the words "bring down the pain".
    22. I am no longer allowed to list "my genitals" as a Shock.
    23. ...or an Issue.
    24. ...or Minutiae.
    25. "Ray gun manufacturing" is not appropriate side work for a boxer.
    26. "Contenders made me do it" will not help me get out of trouble with the law.
    27. "Rowdy sex with your mom" is NOT an appropriate Stamina descriptor for Sorcerer.
    28. ...neither is "Rowdy sex with your dad".
    29. I am not allowed to write "By the horns PO+3" on my Beast Hunters character ever again.
    30. Tissues do not resolve Issues.
  • Posted By: Elliott Belser11: "Fribblefrabble" is not currently part of GNS jargon, and I am no longer allowed to imply that it is.
    The key here, I would like to point out, is the word "currently." Keep implying it and it will, eventually, BECOME part of GNS jargon. The magic of language!
  • 31. Not allowed to demand that the government play an 8 before torturing prisoners at Guantanamo.
  • Posted By: Deliverator31. Not allowed to demand that the government play an 8 before torturing prisoners at Guantanamo.
    Hmmm, on the contrary, I believe that EVERYONE should demand this.
  • 32. "Fuckin'" is not a valid Trait.
    33. My Coat is not embroidered with "Fuckin'" across the shoulders.
    34. I am no longer allowed to escalate to "Fuckin'."
    35. Or get d12s from my Trait and Coat for doing so.
    36. I am no longer allowed to name my PCs from page 263 of the Story Games Names Project.
    37. Being named "Bicarbonate of Soda" does not give me Resist 5 Acid.
    38. I am no longer allowed to insist that any player who decides to "Roach up" actually insert a rubber cockroach into one of their orifices.
    39. I am definitely not allowed to insert it for them.
    40. When attempting to run Cheap, I am required to inform all players beforehand that I don't know the rules either.
    41. In Nobilis, I am no longer allowed to play the Power of Fuckin'.
    1. I am no longer allowed to insist that any player who decides to "Roach up" actually insert a rubber cockroach into one of their orifices.

    ... wait... so how do you play?

  • Posted By: Joshua A.C. Newman... wait... so how do you play?
    See? I TOLD you guys it wasn't just me!
  • Posted By: Brendan
    40. When attempting to run Cheap, I am required to inform all players beforehand that I don't know the rules either.
    LOLZ.
  • Perversely, I think Dogs in the Vinyard would be a great system for both Sailor Moon and Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, though I admit that right as of this moment, I'd be more tempted to run SM with It's Complicated. More Dysfunctions and Oddities a soul cannot imagine.

  • 42. I am not allowed to set "I know the meaning of life" as stakes.

    yrs--
    --Ben
  • edited August 2008
    Posted By: fnord3125Posted By: Elliott Belser11: "Fribblefrabble" is not currently part of GNS jargon, and I am no longer allowed to imply that it is.
    The key here, I would like to point out, is the word "currently." Keep implying it and itwill, eventually, BECOME part of GNS jargon. The magic of language!

    ...now I need to figure out what to imply that Fribblefrabble means. Damn you!

    Edited to add: I've... been massively scooped. Oh dear. Oh dear GOD, what have I done?!
  • See, as soon as I saw the title of the post, I pondered a Storygame where the mechanic is largely about/driven by statements of what the Title character is no longer allowed to do....

    ...Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

    Er, I think so, Brain, but a conflict resolution system based on cheese tasting would be rather expensive!

    Now I need to work on this game.
  • Posted By: Elliott Belser...now I need to figure out what to imply that Fribblefrabble means. Damn you!
    No you don't. Just use it a lot. Say it like you mean it, like you're serious. If anyone asks what it means, say something that suggests they're an idiot for not knowing. People will act like they know what it means just so that they don't look stupid.
  • I should have expected that attitude from someone named Fnord...

    Anyway, more rules, so as to keep the insane coming...

    43: I am not to use the term "Mambo Intimacy 5" in character.

    44: I am not to use the term "Mambo Intimacy 5" at all.

    45: ...Even if Keenan is involved. Especially if Keenan is involved.

    46: My mad scientist in Spirit of the Century cannot create the ANIMa.

    47: I am responsible for my own medical bills should I go into a game store and imply that Warhammer 40000 totally ripped off 3:16.

    48: Pokemon are not suitable alien foes in 3:16.

    49: ...or Bliss Stage.

    50: ...or Spirit of the Century.
  • Posted By: Elliott Belser48: Pokemon are not suitable alien foes in 3:16.
    Awwwwww, fuck. that. shit.My first planet is populated by what are essentially ewoks, but I am going to HAVE to do a planet filled with pikachu type things at some point now. Damn you, Elliott.
  • 51. Burning characters: good. Burning character sheets: bad.
  • I missed Gen Con, but is it true that Project Donut is the first game to make good use of FribbleFrabble?

    Also, having discussed using Bliss Stage for Revolutionary Girl Utena, Sailor Moon seems only one twirl away. Power up magic wand!
  • Posted By: Deliverator51. Burning characters: good. Burning charactersheets: bad.
    52. Burning characters: Good. Burning Players: Bad.
  • edited August 2008
    Posted By: joepub22. I am no longer allowed to list "my genitals" as a Shock.
    23. ...or an Issue.
    24. ...or Minutiae.
    But how are you supposed to play any Cronenbergian games??
  • Posted By: CarlI missed Gen Con, but is it true thatProject Donutis the first game to make good use of FribbleFrabble?
    Yes. I played a game of Project Donut. The FribbleFrabble was definitely a key factor in the creation of the Drat.
  • 53. I am not allowed to use a tentacle monster as a suitor in anime-inspired Shooting the Moon.
    54. ... or as the Beloved.
    55. Or in Breaking the Ice.
    56. I am not allowed to play a vibrator in Under the Bed.
    57. I am not allowed to play Poison'd.
    58. Or kill puppies for satan.
  • Posted By: Elliott BelserSee, as soon as I saw the title of the post, I pondered a Storygame where the mechanic is largely about/driven by statements of what the Title character is no longer allowed to do....

    ...Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

    Er, I think so, Brain, but a conflict resolution system based on cheese tasting would be rather expensive!

    Now I need to work on this game.
    My job here is finished.
  • Okay, who is this person going around and disallowing all the MOST AWESOME THINGS?

    as a side note, I'd like to remind everyone that there is a big difference between GOOD use of FribbleFrabble and merely CORRECT use of FribbleFrabble.
  • edited August 2008
    59: I am no longer allowed to invent GNS jargon. I am no longer allowed to invent GNS jargon. I am no longer allowed to invent GNS jargon.

    60: ...or take Memetic Combat as an Aspect in Spirit of the Century.

    61: My ANIMa's primary weapon cannot be a Giga Drill Breaker, either.

    62: ...especially if the relationship forming it is at Intimacy 5.

    63: I am not allowed to run a Breaking the Ice game set in the world of Bliss Stage.

    64: Shooting the Moon with same is RIGHT OUT. (Oddly enough, I think I ran the equivalent. "Lloyd, Amanda, you have too much clothing on; there is a bed over there. Just have sex already!")

    65: The Burning Empires rulebook is not to be used as a weapon.


    On a related note, I'm already trying to devise a magical girl game with Bliss Stage.
  • 66: I am no longer allowed to rule that Grandstanding in Mythender is directly related to the status of the hero's genitals during the action.
  • 67: In sorcerer, I am not allowed to define humanity as "penis size."
  • edited August 2008
    68: I am no longer allowed to hot-shot "Protect My Genitals" as a Mission Objective.
  • 69: Nor are the aliens to attack that portion of the human anatomy for humor value. (They are allowed to do so for squick value.)
  • (...I'm kinda sensing a trend, here...)
  • 70. "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" is not an appropriate trait for my Dog
  • 71. Demons in my Sorcerer game cannot be vaguely described as "The Amish".
  • I contest 12, 32, 40, 48 and 70.

    72. Transformers didn't exist in 16th century France.
    73. When playing The Pool, I cannot lift my 50 word backstory from the pages of Penthouse Forum.
    74. "Your hot mom" is not an appropriate Menace, Threat or Authority.
    75. Transformers didn't exist in Middle Earth.
    76. No that is not a cool idea for a TV show.
    77. No, I'm not willing to just try a pilot episode.
    78. I'm no longer allowed to play Barbaren.
    79. Transformers can't be both an Issue and a Shock, and I am not allowed to play at their intersection.
  • 80. I am not allowed the Secret of Winning.
    81. Nor am I allowed the Key of Arsing About.
  • edited August 2008
    Posted By: joepub74. "Your hot mom" is not an appropriate Menace, Threat or Authority.
    Is she an appropriate Master? My Life with Your Hot Mom?
  • She was last night.
  • I think I just got told...
  • edited August 2008
    OH SNAP!
  • Posted By: Deliverator51. Burning characters: good. Burning charactersheets: bad.
    Burning characters sheets: Delicious!
  • 82: I am not allowed to run The Bliss Of Haruhi Suzumia.
    83: I am not allowed to run Azumanga Bliss.
    84: I am not allowed to run Ouran High School Resistance Pilots.
    85: Nor am I allowed to run Hosts in the High School.
    86: Or Spirit Of The Host Club.
  • edited August 2008
    Posted By: Elliott Belser84: I am not allowed to run Ouran High School Resistance Pilots.
    Yeah, pilots would be boring.
    86: Or Spirit Of The Host Club.
    I'd consider playing that, though.
  • Posted By: Dave Cleaver70. "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" is not an appropriate trait for my Dog
    Oh man, winner. I now want to play Dogs again just so I can do this.
  • 86: Or Spirit Of The Host Club.
    I'd consider playing that, though.
    If you do, the aspect "Lady Looks Like A Dude" is MANDATORY.
  • 87. None of my Dog's traits may be lyrics from any popular song (no "99 Problems, but a bitch ain't one", no "Brings Sexy Back," no "Ain't shit but hoes and tricks," etc.)

    88. My Burning Wheel character's shade does not become "Fusciha" after an epiphany

    89. My PTA character's issue is not "Playboy #35"


    A note on #87: I think this method of character creation would actually work pretty well, as long as you choose the right song. "Mr. Tambourine Man" yes, "In Da Club" no.
  • 90) I am, in fact, required to give a fuck if it's your birthday.
  • 91: If I my character has two daddies, I cannot have a mommy who loves both daddies as well, unless Shooting The Moon or BS is involved.

    Thanks so much, MrSitouh, for Ariana Joshua Smith, daughter of Sara Smith. XD
  • 92. A "Huge fuckin' cock" is not an appropriate burden in Carry.

    Hey guys, Take your fribblefrabble side discussion to another thread. No, really, please. It'll be hilarious.
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