Tonight is my third night of hacking the SotC SRD for use with d20. I decided to start doing this as a learning exercise, and, yeah, I'm learning stuff. A good 90% of what I'm doing so far is just formatting and swapping out mechanical bits, though there are a few touches that are really all mine, things I'm hoping to develop out of the text that I really dig. Three days, and I'm on page 26.
While I do this, I'm listening to the Theory From The Closet thing with Clinton and others.
And it keeps biting at me.
My easiest work, my smoothest, fastest stuff, and the stuff of mine that people enjoy and play the most? All conversions. Taking things others wrote and splitting them down, streamlining parts of them, giving them a new spin; Perfect 20 is a good example of this. I've written games that I think are pretty damn good, but they took forever to grind out, and were work; rebuilding stuff is an unqualified pleasure - and comes with the added joy of knowing that more people will play those games.
And, really, most of the time, I'm not entirely cool with that fact. It's kind of uncomfortable.
Now, it would be convenient for me to put that on the community. That thinking it's somehow a lesser thing to convert than it is to create is the fault of other people.
But it's not really true. At least for me, it's not some outside pressure to get status. It's an internal pressure to make something I can hold up and say "That all me, baby" - even though, really, that's patently bullshit even when I do say it.
I look over at the idea of what how easy things would be if I could just let go a little bit, do the thing I really am best at, and take as much pride in it as I do when I make something of my own.
Anyway. I felt the urge to drop this here because I'm wondering if anyone else here has something like this, lurking in their head somewhere. And if they had any thoughts on it.