Mall Ninja!

edited March 2008 in Story Games
I know I'll never actually do this, but right now I totally want to get ahold of the most ridiculously over-detailed set of gun porn combat rules I can find and play Mall Ninja scenarios with it.

"A perp popped up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto Kalashnikov with a 75rd drum, and opened up in the direction of my partner, meanwhile two perps popped up from behind the skeeball machine with sawed off 12 gauges. Another two perps appeared on the upper level and brought down hell-fire on us from above...

When the sniper ran for cover I drew a bead on him, adjusted for distance, and dropped two into his abdomen. The Mac-man ran for it, at the sight of the bloody guts pouring out his partner’s stomach.I did a quick tactical reload, grabbed the 870P from the harness on my back, and did some rolls over to the movie theater and back flipped over the concession counter while unloading the 5 rounds of 000 into the skeeball machine...

When the smoke cleared, we had three dead perps, and two very scared prisoners. My partner was slighting wounded but he would live to fight another dayl. The company goons came in fast by chopper, to cover up the situation. The remaining perps were flown to a company detention center, and we never found out what happened to them, or why they made such a vicious attack. My belief is that they were planning to hijack the coveted Mortal Combat game unit."

Comments

  • Pheonix Command.
  • Looks like your average GURPS combat to me
  • Heh, I take it you too read Neil Gaiman's blog?
  • I think it'd be more fun to generate missions and then turn them into message board posts:

    "Chemotherapy patient is accused of shoplifting" becomes "Neo-nazi skinhead robs The Sausage Hut with a Chinese-made AKM; perp wearing electrostatic body armor so taser is useless and gun battle ensues. Two civilian casualties covered up by the grateful mayor."
  • You have to work "saving ass-virginity" in there for it to truly work.
  • TriTac
  • Posted By: OgremarcoPheonix Command.
    Yeah, I think the important note is to choose a very complex tactical firearm system that emulates realism, which was obviously created by people who have never actually fired a weapon.
  • I might have to Hack Greg Costikyan's Violence and run a Mall Ninja campaign.
  • Posted By: AndyPosted By: OgremarcoPheonix Command.

    Yeah, I think the important note is to choose a very complex tactical firearm system that emulates realism, which was obviously created by people who have never actually fired a weapon.

    You actually made me snicker with this. Snicker, I tell you
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